Holding a Baby Since Losing My Own

I held a beautiful baby tonight for the first time since losing mine. Heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time. I absolutely love babies and wow I have missed it. Those puckered lips when they stretch those arms. That curve in their back. Oh my heart ❀️ The sleepless nights when they won’t stop crying and you don’t know how much more you can take. Then they settle into your arms, quiet and peaceful. Your heart explodes with love. Such an indescribable love you’ve never known existed. Pure and simple love.

It’s not all bad. I’ve accepted what is reality and it’s ok. It’s just bittersweet. I’ve seen many babies since losing mine and it comes in waves of upsetting me. It didn’t bother me much at first. Then it really hurt to see them and miss what could have been. I wonder what he would look like. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and mischievous I’m sure he would have been 😜.

Those tiny feet left an imprint on me that is for certain. Never would I have ever thought I’d go through something like that. But I did and I made it through. It’s pretty amazing how we learn to cope and deal with things we never thought we would or could. Yes it’s heartbreaking and sad at times. I cry sometimes. And it’s ok. I’m ok. And I know he is too ❀️

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