Work in Progress

I will forever be a work in progress but I am OK with that. I am better today than I was yesterday, and will be better tomorrow than I am today. I have been broken more times than I can count but it has made me who I am today. I am proud of the person I am. My ex-husbands may disagree but you can’t win them all. πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ˜œπŸ€£

My abusive ex said he read my blog and knew my husband left because of me and my kids. Ummmm hello, the whole world knows that 🀣. This is a public blog for a reason. I immediately thought maybe I should stop writing. He is attempting to gather evidence because he is trying to get custody of William. I realized I will not stop writing. I have absolutely nothing to hide. This is my story, my life, and I refuse to be bullied and manipulated any more! So what I have depression. So what I have Chiari. So what I have had 3 failed marriages. I am an amazing person and refuse to let him drag me down ever again! I will tell my story in the hopes of inspiring others facing some of the same situations I have faced and am facing. We all have problems, most people hide them and try to keep a perfect image. I’m breaking the stigma. I’m going to be real.

Boy am I proud of how strong I am! I am so impressed with my progress. I am proud that I can be kind to a man who destroyed me and my children. That takes a level of courage and strength I never thought I would possess. I had actually asked my husband to do the communicating with my abusive ex as it created an anxiety in me that I was not yet able to control. My husband did not understand why I felt that way and it was a very sore spot in our relationship. He didn’t understand the pain and anguish my children and I went through and the fact it affects us to this day. He just couldn’t, for whatever reason, and thought it was crazy I couldn’t handle the stress of communicating with him. I would physically shake because I was so anxious and feel sick to my stomach. I still have these feelings to this very day but I have made huge strides in controlling my emotions and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

It’s not easy facing these things alone. To be honest I never thought I would be alone again. But when my husband looked at me and said, “I can’t care about you the way I thought I could”, I knew I’d be alone the rest of my life. And I am 100 percent OK with that. I’ve got this! ❀❀❀

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