I really try hard to not feel sorry for myself because ultimately I am blessed beyond measure. But today I’m having a moment of why me. Why am I always going through something? Can’t I just have a little break?
I’m been sick, yes, sick again. It’s what my life consists of. And instead of having people who support me, I have people who choose to leave. I have an ex who won’t stop texting me telling me what an awful parent I am and how he has our son more than me and I should pay him money. I have politely and kindly asked him to stop but that does no good. He brings our 9 year old into these parent issues and my son is crying and confused. I have asked him to not bring our son into these adult issues but his response is he tells him everything. I do the same, but on the level of a 9 year old, not as if he is an adult and can handle these issues.
It is breaking my heart literally, but I won’t let it break me ever again. What I have learned from my last husband leaving is you can’t depend on anyone except yourself. I’m focused on only my children at this time. I care about nothing else. I am becoming a better person every day for them and myself.
I’ve always been a good person, but what happens with good souls is they are taken advantage of and destroyed. I am learning how to not let others break my spirit. Learning how to protect myself from lower vibrations. I wish I had learned these tactics years ago and saved myself and children from this heartache of a life we have had. But better late than never. Previously I would have let these shenanigans he is pulling at this time ruin my whole mood and day. Today it makes me sad and I had a brief moment of why me. I let myself have that moment, but didn’t allow it to dwell. I know you can’t change people no matter how much you want them to become better. All I can do is make sure I’m doing the best I can. I can guarantee I am doing so with love and the best of intentions for everyone. ❤